Karmic & Dharmic Relationships: A Journey from Attachment to Awakening
Delayed endings create heavier karma than clean endings.
We all know about karma –as you do so you shall reap, and sometimes in relationships when we feel stuck or something feels heavy, we often blame it on karma – but karma is not fatalistic as we see it sometimes – it is also a choice the soul has decided to make at that point in time in its journey – and that the choice is always with the soul to say enough of this.. Now I choose differently – You ALWAYS have a choice of ending a pattern of pain. How you perceive it makes all the difference in your life.
For that to happen - most of the times we have to also ask the universe what our soul needed to learn, and no! it’s not always punishment for something done wrong, many times it is that the soul needs to learn how to break the cycles of guilt, shame, suppression and fear – and only when one is really push
ed into a corner with these heavy situations, do we find our way through it and have the courage to break painful patterns.
At any point it is important to pause - connect within and ask yourself if its karmic to go through a tough situation consistently - or is there an outdated program which isn’t aligned with your soul purpose or dharma, that the universe is nudging you to let go off – sometimes only when we let go - of the need to control our lives and expectations - and the lives of our loved ones, can the karma bring the gift that our Soul is waiting to give us.
Also, have you ever questioned your conditioning? Many times in my healings, I see the main cause of our pain is being stuck in our conditioning or belief systems..
Have you ever wondered that the family we are born into, the siblings we have, the spouse or partners that we have are not until death do us apart – that is the fantasy that we have been sold.
Most of these relationships are karmic, and not all karmic relationships are meant to be for life, they are only until you work out the karma – and that is where you need to ask yourself
What fear is this bringing into the light?
Why does it trigger me so much and what attachment is being exposed? After all a lot of our anger and desire comes from attachment.
What belief about yourself is ready to be transformed?
Where are you keeping a blocked mind and not willing to grow?
These relationships are your souls classroom. You can choose to remain in the same class and repeat patterns or choose to become conscious of those patterns and evolve.
Many karmic relationships therefore involve: repeated cycles, emotional highs and lows, dependency, unfinished conversations, and difficulty letting go.
The purpose is not to keep suffering forever. The purpose is to become aware and nurture that wound within you to heal, so that the pattern no longer controls you.
Some relationships are Dharmic – which means aligned with your Souls purpose and truth. they mostly are meant last longer than karmic relationships and when you're truly acting out of dharma in alignment with the Divine purpose, you wont be attached to the outcome – you’re acting righteously on the path your soul chose during this journey, regardless of the outcome or what the personal 'you' is gaining out of it.
In my opinion – you can only truly be on your Souls Dharmic journey when you resolve most of the past karmic tendencies.
- Karmic energies bind you Dharmic energies free you
- Attachment says:
- "I need you so I can feel whole."
- Love says:
- "I recognize the Divine in you while remaining established in the Divine within myself."
The divine never tells us to stop loving. It asks us to stop CONFUSING love with possessiveness.
Once you have learnt what that chapter in life is teaching you and the triggers aren’t there anymore – AND YET you still continue to be in a relationship where patterns repeat or you feel stagnant and are untrue to yourself for over a long period of time. The karma has probably been over for a while… and its time to change something – after all.
Delayed endings create heavier karma than clean endings.
However disclaimer here :- this isn’t for everyone, it’s a calling that needs to come from your heart and soul.. when you know its over in your heart, but your head keeps you stuck – that’s when you need to ask for courage to do what your soul or spirit truly desires.:)
“You were never meant to carry this to the end— only long enough to learn where to stop.”
A dharmic relationship on the other hand is one in which both people help each other move closer to their highest nature. – live their deepest truth in a responsible divinely aligned way This does not necessarily mean the relationship is easy.
Sometimes a dharmic partner comforts you. Sometimes they challenge you more deeply than anyone else.
The difference is the direction of growth. A dharmic relationship tends to encourage people to become more fully themselves – it encourages freedom rather than dependency.
For some of us only when karmic burdens / patterns from our past life end - can we truly be on the path of dharma or our souls purpose – and when we are on that path we will truly know ( and no one can tell you this- its comes from the voice of spirit within you.)
Sometimes, initially - to hear the voice of spirit, one has to go into silence – away from our familiar path – away from all that - the ego tells you is safe
Yes family can be a huge support system as well and that is the good karma one is born with. Or a dharmic relationship with that 1 person in your family.
Question to ask yourself is - Is the love is conditional ? If so - that means it’s a karmic contract.
If the love is unconditional – that means, irrespective of what they can do for you or whether they have the capacity to be there for you in the way that you want them to be – and YET you honor their path, even if it means it might not be the same path you’re following - then that is love on a Soul level which is unconditional! - which is very difficult for anyone who is not called by spirit to understand,
Having said that, many of us don’t love ourselves unconditionally as well, we base our value on what we can do for others – so loving others unconditionally , that means loving them as a soul – is quite impossible.
Which is why when you find your soul family – they love you irrespective – whether you’re with them, not with them, call them after 10 years they will still meet you the way they did when you last met! – yes it happens… it’s a connection that is not based on need – but on values, a mission and love bigger than our ‘little/egoic’ selves.
Noticed what happens, when spirit starts calling you, and you need to walk a different path, a path that is unknown to your family, sometimes you have to break social conditioning to follow that path
– have you ever wondered why most Gurus, Saints, prophets etc slowly moved away from their family – some for a while and some for good. No one wants to, but they had a calling that was bigger than that – their dharma/duty to family was over, and they needed to expand their energy to the world beyond which they knew of.
Having said that, Master Choa Kok Sui – the founder of Pranic Healing & Arhatic Yoga – said that family life was one of our biggest spiritual tests and I agree with that and until you have reached a level where you are at peace with your family and all your triggers are gone and you have unconditional love and acceptance for their way of life, you haven’t evolved to a point where you can take off – that is just an escape - so be careful – take breaks if you need to – but know the difference b/w escaping a situation and using it as fertilizer for growth.
EVERY relationship can be understood in this way:
Some people come to repay or complete karma.
Some come to awaken forgotten aspects of yourself.
Some come to support your dharma and spiritual evolution.
Some do all three, but at different stages of the relationship.
AND YES - A karmic relationship can become a dharmic one – if both people become more conscious and aware of their roles on a spiritual level.
Transformation happens through inner work.
As we work as instruments of divine without any attachment – because that again is the ego & not the divine wisdom. Divine wisdom knows that it is a part of everything - big or small - as we are true to our own lives and what feels right for us, instead of trying to live someone else's life and truly cultivating the divine qualities within us - after all we are made in the image of God, Aham Brahmasmi – Right ?
As we feed these qualities more than our egoic self - our relationships become less about completing the ego and more about expressing wisdom and love through our being.
I know a lot of you will feel if we continuously act only on the righteous qualities and not feed the ego – we will be supressing that part of ourselves and that is true – SO, I have a video I made on that a while back so I will post it in the link below .
Also remember – you're not to supress the ego, make it conscious – its like a naughty child – the moment you Say, I see what you’re doing ? – it will become conscious of it self – nothing about us is bad – it just needs to come into the light and given time for it to transform.
When we expect another person to provide our identity, security, or permanent happiness, we place a burden on the relationship that it cannot sustain. When we label a relationship it can sometimes limit the soul.
No human relationship is meant to replace your relationship with the Divine.
As your connection with the Divine deepens, relationships become freer.
You no longer love because you are lacking.
You love because your nature is love.
May each one of you, awaken unconditional love within your hearts.
And I trust this helps guide you to living a life more in alignment with your Souls purpose or Dharma.
Thank you.. The link below on how to transform the Ego self.
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